Beacon Hill is where a bad costume goes to die. Last year the city shut Mount Vernon, Pinckney, and a pile of other streets from 4 to 7:30 p.m. so the trick-or-treat crowd could take them over. The Beacon Hill Times ran the list. Brick, cobblestones, and someone asking what you are.
Miranda, Andy, and Emily
Miranda has already rejected your costume. Silver hair, huge sunglasses, a coat that looks like rent. Andy is tall boots and a good coat. Emily is allowed to insult both of you, and someone has to carry the coats all night.
The Devil Wears Prada 2 put Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, Emily Blunt, and Stanley Tucci back together, and it is on Hulu and Disney+. It made about $693 million, so people will know who you are.
The Odyssey
A cape on the Green Line. Matt Damon is Odysseus, Anne Hathaway is Penelope, Zendaya is Athena, and Charlize Theron is Calypso. Circe is Samantha Morton. Do not show up as Circe and then argue.
Linen, leather, gold, and sandals you can walk in. Odysseus gets the sword. Athena gets the helmet. Calypso gets to look dangerous. Couples can be Odysseus and Penelope. Ten years apart is optional. The movie has already passed $1.7 billion.
A bad AI picture
Extra hand. Six fingers. A shirt with letters that almost spell words. A name tag that says Regenerate.
The worse it looks, the clearer it is. One shoe should be a different size. An arm can come out of the wrong place. Bring a framed photo of yourself that does not look like you. You can start this at 6 p.m. and still be right.
Beyoncé's Met Gala skeleton
Diamond bones down to your fingers, a feathered coat, and a crown that will not survive the bar. Beyoncé wore it to the Met Gala in May, her first time back in a decade. Vogue has the arrival, Olivier Rousteing dress included.
A black or nude bodysuit and silver bones will get you there. Rhinestones if you are patient. The coat is what keeps it from looking like last October.
Briar University
A hockey jersey will not get a second look in Boston. The name on it has to. Briar University, from Prime Video’s Off Campus. Jersey, stick, athletic shorts.
The specific versions are better. Allie’s Shakespeare look is a blue corset, a satin dress, and fairy wings. The couple is Hannah’s bunny and Garrett’s magician, not Allie’s. Teen Vogue laid those out.
Choosin' Texas
Cowboy boots, flared jeans, big hair, a western shirt, and something that says Choosin’ Texas. Without the words, you are dressed for a country bar.
Ella Langley’s song spent 23 weeks at No. 1, the longest run in Hot 100 history. A couple can split it. One person chooses Texas. The other one looks left.
A World Cup jersey, or the duck
The costume people will understand is a national team jersey, a scarf, and a tiny trophy. Gillette hosted seven World Cup matches, including a quarterfinal, under the name Boston Stadium. CBS Boston has the list. Couples wear rival teams.
The costume people will stop for is Merlín, the duck in a miniature Mexico jersey. Reuters followed him to a meeting with the president. He was still a duck. He did not get into the stadium.
Rumi, Mira, and Zoey
Stage clothes, the hair, the weapons. One of them works. All three work better.
KPop Demon Hunters was already Netflix’s biggest movie, and Netflix ordered a sequel. Official HUNTR/X costumes exist, which beats building the whole thing out of metallic fabric after midnight.
Lilypad
Woody, Jessie, and Buzz are the easy version. Lilypad is the one that dates it. She is the tablet in Toy Story 5, voiced by Greta Lee. Build a frame, put your face in it, and spend the night interrupting people.
Disney said the opening was the biggest global debut of the year.
Moana and Maui
Moana needs the necklace. Maui needs the hook, the skirt, the wig, and tattoos that were printed. A friend with a marker, after drinks, is not a plan.
Catherine Lagaʻaia plays Moana. Dwayne Johnson is Maui again. The live-action movie opened July 10. It is a duo. Moana still does most of the work.
Mario and Peach
Peach’s skirt has to be a problem on the T. Pink dress, crown, white gloves. Mario is overalls, a red cap, and a mustache. Rosalina makes it a group. A cardboard pipe makes every doorway a fight.
The Super Mario Galaxy Movie put them back in theaters this year, so the closet version looks current again.
A Storrowed truck
Build a moving truck out of cardboard, crush the roof, and write Storrow Drive on the side. It reads as Boston from across the street, and it will take up a Beacon Hill sidewalk.
Trucks keep hitting the low bridges on Storrow Drive, Soldiers Field Road, and Memorial Drive. The state calls it Storrowing.
